The Mating Rituals of Backpacking Heterosexuals in Nha Trang, Vietnam
This is going to be the name of the documentary I am going to make for the discovery channel. Or, maybe MTV. I can't decide which one is more appropriate. On one hand, watching people from all over the world act all trashy together could be an incredibly interesting and informative sociological study. On the other hand, it could follow "girls gone wild" on MTV. Tough call.
Needless to say, I have been pounding the crap out of my liver for the past four days. Apparently that's what you do in Nha Trang. I'm talking wholesome, spring break Cancun, we're-freshmen-so-let's-get-naked-in-the-bar, have a wet t-shirt competition, pour tequila down each other's throats, do body shots in a dentist chair type fun.
Since I started this trip I have been lucky to see a lot of cool stuff that has made me think / take a moment to reflect. But, I have never been so taken aback as I was in Nha Trang. Never. Is this the way straight people usually act? It was like watching drunk, half clothed baboons jump from tree to tree in a burst of reckless, mating fury. The male baboons were pounding their chests and the female baboons were waving their brightly coloured fannies in the air. I really could have made a lot of men jealous. I have never had so many girls after me in my life. I had girls dumping buckets of water over my head, humping my leg, ripping off my clothes, licking salt off my body and saying things like this to me: "Should I take off my shirt?? JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!". No lie.
During the day was a much different story. The entire city seemed to be filled with hungover farang looking at their omelets with a certain amount of post-drunken skepticism. Should I eat this? Or, should I just go back to the hotel and die my slow death? And yes, I was one of those people. The best part was seeing those same people out that night, drunker than the night before. And yes, I was also one of those people.
I did do other stuff in Nha Trang, though. Like, I watched Haunted Mansion and Beethoven's Second, quite possibly the two worst films ever made. I also went to the beach where the 20 foot waves sucked me in and then spit me out back onto the beach where I would lie for a good five minutes licking my wounds, before going "body surfing" again. The waves also had a funny way of very efficiently removing men's bottoms and women's tops. That was fun. I took a mud bath too, but that's boring.
Katherine Jordan also became a legend in Nha Trang. Read into that one what you will. wink, wink.
I've made my way to Ho Chi Min / Saigon. I can't figure out what the actual name of this place is. We're here for a couple of days before taking a "cruise" (read: sketchy, old boat) into Cambodia up the Mekong Delta. I still have a permanent-like feeling of being hungover, which will hopefully be cured with our night out at a club called "Apocalypse Now". Can't wait.
Pics on the way soonish.
Needless to say, I have been pounding the crap out of my liver for the past four days. Apparently that's what you do in Nha Trang. I'm talking wholesome, spring break Cancun, we're-freshmen-so-let's-get-naked-in-the-bar, have a wet t-shirt competition, pour tequila down each other's throats, do body shots in a dentist chair type fun.
Since I started this trip I have been lucky to see a lot of cool stuff that has made me think / take a moment to reflect. But, I have never been so taken aback as I was in Nha Trang. Never. Is this the way straight people usually act? It was like watching drunk, half clothed baboons jump from tree to tree in a burst of reckless, mating fury. The male baboons were pounding their chests and the female baboons were waving their brightly coloured fannies in the air. I really could have made a lot of men jealous. I have never had so many girls after me in my life. I had girls dumping buckets of water over my head, humping my leg, ripping off my clothes, licking salt off my body and saying things like this to me: "Should I take off my shirt?? JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!". No lie.
During the day was a much different story. The entire city seemed to be filled with hungover farang looking at their omelets with a certain amount of post-drunken skepticism. Should I eat this? Or, should I just go back to the hotel and die my slow death? And yes, I was one of those people. The best part was seeing those same people out that night, drunker than the night before. And yes, I was also one of those people.
I did do other stuff in Nha Trang, though. Like, I watched Haunted Mansion and Beethoven's Second, quite possibly the two worst films ever made. I also went to the beach where the 20 foot waves sucked me in and then spit me out back onto the beach where I would lie for a good five minutes licking my wounds, before going "body surfing" again. The waves also had a funny way of very efficiently removing men's bottoms and women's tops. That was fun. I took a mud bath too, but that's boring.
Katherine Jordan also became a legend in Nha Trang. Read into that one what you will. wink, wink.
I've made my way to Ho Chi Min / Saigon. I can't figure out what the actual name of this place is. We're here for a couple of days before taking a "cruise" (read: sketchy, old boat) into Cambodia up the Mekong Delta. I still have a permanent-like feeling of being hungover, which will hopefully be cured with our night out at a club called "Apocalypse Now". Can't wait.
Pics on the way soonish.
posted by Mathew at 11:20 PM
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